For The Girl Who Fools Herself.

What lies you feed yourself. Completely fabricating truths that you hope make you feel better. I know you want to leave the past behind you. But it follows you closely like a shadow in the dark. Like the footsteps you hear in a blackened alley. So you walk faster, taking strides that only giants take. You tell yourself what you want to hear. And you tell others what you think they need to hear. “I’m over it. I don’t even think about it.” You are just a broken record now. But I wonder who you are really trying to convince. It couldn’t be me. I believed you at first, but now I see the story you have written for what it truly is. A fiction that is drenched in deceit. Only it isn’t deceit to me, to me it is sadness. To you it is fraud. Justifying every movement, every word. Defensive is an understatement. I see now where this is going and I don’t really want to see the outcome. It scares me. Everything that has layered over time and all has been placed in a box in your heart. It is bound to escape. It is insecure and explosive. You cannot outrun this. She is right on your heels. And as you attempt to stay in your stride, you fall flat on your face. Cutting your hands, bruising your knees, scratching your face. And as you turn around, helpless on the alley pavement. There she is. Truth, hurt, pain, jealousy, hate, hovering overtop of you. You never escaped her. You fooled yourself and because of that, reality grew very large and leaned in for the kiss of death. It’s over now. All you told yourself. The game you played, you know- the one where you were a convincing act. True to the eyes, but unbelievable in reality. It is sad to see and my heart knows how you feel. Funny thing is, we can’t run fast enough to get far enough away from what is and will always be there. So maybe there is some trick. Tell me if you ever find it. But maybe there is a way that we can walk with it without the wrenching pain it seems to bestow upon us.