Let That Be Enough

Quiet day is a day in which we are supposed to spend a day in silence with God. This means no talking with others around us. This in itself was a challenge for me, and most of the people here. I had really big expectations for this day though. I felt that God was supposed to give me some profound direction or an idea of what the heck I am doing with my life. I spent the whole morning laying in the grass, sun beaming down, frustrated out of my mind. I so badly wanted to hear God and what He had to say to me. I had been praying for some sort of an epiphany, but all I heard was silence. So I fell in and out of sleep, went to lunch, sat in silence, went back to my spot outside. Still nothing. So I decided that I would go lay in the conference hall while the music played. Thinking soaking in the words and trying to focus on them would help me hear God. All that happened was me falling asleep and snoring. I woke up even more frustrated. Showering seemed like the only thing to do at this point. I turned on my computer and music just before I hit the shower just to help me wind down. "Let me know you love me. Let that be enough." Those were the only words I heard. And that is when God spoke. He simply wanted me to know that He loves me, that He is holding me in His everlasting arms and that was enough. He wanted me to know that I didn't need to have some big realization, all He needed was for me to be reminded of His love for each one of us. He wants that to be enough. So even though I didn't discover what I was hoping for, God spoke what He needed. That was enough for me.

Lady In A Bookstore.

“You’ll never know all the tragedies within ones heart...” A lady in a book store said this to me a year and a half ago. She would come in when I was working and would ramble on about things that made no sense. This was the one thing she said to me though, that I will never be able to forget.
She was so right. We walk around thinking mostly about ourselves and our lives. Not to say that we are bad people or that we never think of others because I have seen and experienced this love, but it is human nature to get caught up in our own selves. Walking down the street we pass person after person, face after face and how often do we take a moment to put ourselves into their shoes. Or recognize that they have stuff going on in their own life. Not often enough. We have no idea what these people are all about, what their life experiences are, what may be troubling their soul, or to take a more positive stand, what is giving them pure joy. I often find myself thinking ‘what is it that made that person that way?’ or ‘what is that persons story? where have they been? where are they going?’ I know that I have a story, therefore leaving everyone else with theirs.
We often look to our past, to what has so far defined us. Our lives are lived more evidently by what has been instead of what is. I think we hinder ourselves when we are always looking back. Not to say that it is wrong to focus on our pasts because they have created our story, they have shaped us. We are the person we are today for many many reasons. I believe we have to make a choice to keep pressing on to a new tomorrow, to learn from the past, grow in it, grow with it, grow from it. Our futures are unknown, for me that is complete hope. Only by taking a step into this unknown can I continue in my prewritten story. Prewritten. Hope has become a comfort,even in a darkened world. I think amongst such a broken world hope is our light. As brothers and sisters we should recognize that we are all composed of different stories, that the tragedies in our hearts may be similar to others, or completely different. To meet people where they are at. Lets recognize that we are not the only ones with pain or joy in our hearts, lets take a step into tomorrow. Not leaving our past behind because we cannot ignore what has been, but opening our eyes to what will be.
This lady in a book store once said something to me, one thing out of hundreds stuck with me, and it changed my story forever.

In The Land Down Under

After months of planning the craziest adventure of my life I am finally settled in the great land of Australia. I arrived in Sydney on January 24th at 10 in the morning. It was a 15 hour flight from Vancouver to Sydney. Just a little fun fact for you- I didn’t get up once, not to stretch and not to pee. Ew is right. I was by the window and there was a boy beside me I couldn’t seem to get around. Anyways, too much information. I stayed in a great hotel right by the circular quay which is where there are shops, restaurants, tours and of course all the water. It was absolutely beautiful. I spent a whole day just hanging around there. The next day I went shopping and met some really sweet people. I could not believe how friendly people were. It was really reassuring for me. January 26th was the day. The day I had to leave for school. Trying to get around the train station was a mess and I really wondered what I had gotten myself into. Once I was settled on the train things started to feel a bit better. There was a transfer of trains and getting on the second train it became very evident that I wasn’t the only student on their way to a new place. I can pretty much guarantee that I looked like a deer in headlights. After I sat down with my two massive bags of luggage, a backpack and my lulu bag (which my roommate later made fun of me for!) a girl sat across from me. I felt like I wanted to say something to her, but she beat me to it. “Hey, Where are you going?” she said and I shyly responded “Moss Vale”. “To the Bible College!?” she asked me excitedly, and that is where it began. Turns out that this very girl turned out to be my roommate! Definitely a God thing. So my roommates name is Kim. She is seriously amazing. She is beautiful inside and out and she does the coolest things. I don’t think that I could have asked for a better roommate. We get along so well.
I’ve been here now for just over three weeks and I have to say I know that I am meant to be here. The lectures have been awesome. I feel like the teachers have bugged our rooms or something to know exactly what to say to us. The things some of the girls and I have talked about are some of the things that they have been talking about. I know that it is the Holy Spirit, but wow, that has been really cool. Everything that we have been learning has been so relevant to my life. I can already feel a change occurring, at least my brain is ticking and my heart beating. God has also blessed me with a friend that can really relate to some of the things that have happened over the past year and I know that is something that is very needed.
Alright, let me enlighten you on what I’ve gotten myself into. Oh, I tried kangaroo. It was actually pretty good, but the thought of eating a kangaroo felt slightly disturbing! I have hit up the beach twice, neither day was too nice but I got a chance to do some boogie boarding which is always a good time! March 1st we get to have a surf day and get actual lessons on how to surf- so stoked! I’ve also been bowling twice. The first time I went with my family group and we dressed 80’s (you can imagine the looks we got). The second time it was three of my friends birthdays! Crazy. I got a really nice sunburn on our first workday which occurs every Wednesday, but now my back is really dark. I’ve been taking a lot of time to get to know people and what they are about. That is something that seems extremely important about being here. Everyone has a story and a past and is now here for a reason and I want to know all of that. God has been teaching me a lot of patience. He has also given me a lot of strength. I have had that feeling where you feel like you have nothing left to give, but then someone needs you. I really didn’t think I could do this, but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. For now I will leave with that thought...