Here's To Love & Cheap Champagne.

I rang in 2008, sitting in one of my best friends basements. Raising plastic cups with cheap champagne and hugging my closest friends. Kissing good-bye the hardest year of my life and eagerly anticipating a fresh start. I awaited the new year knowing that there was more in store for me than a hardened heart and broken spirit. I knew that waiting for me on the other side of 12:00 was a year of experience and growing. I knew that Australia was awaiting my arrival in less then a month and my patience was slowly diminishing. Getting away from the current state my soul existed and breaking into a foreign place where I could be whoever I wanted. No longer would I remain tied to my circumstances, my influences, nor the calamity I was choking on.
In a country known as the ‘land down under’ I was ready to commence on my journey of self-discovery. And maybe even more than a journey you could call it my escape, my run-away, or my jailbreak. Whatever you want to call it.. it was my chance to learn how to breathe again. So off I went, a girl who lost herself in 2007. She was scared that the cement in her lungs may never allow her to breathe again. She was terrified she might fail. She was a nervous-excited for the potential in this adventure. And I say ‘she’ because the girl that left for Oz, is not the same one that returned.
Over the last year I have learnt many lessons. Lessons about life and love. I learnt that the people who matter most will always be there no matter how you hurt them or they hurt you. I learnt that I am independent and I can do things on my own. I learnt that it’s okay to be vulnerable. Life can hurt, hearts can break, messes can be made, and tears most definitely can be shed. I learnt that family doesn’t always come from blood. You have a given family, and a chosen one. I learnt that love is found in strange places and sometimes that love will make you wait. I learnt that it is important to have faith that moves mountains, but it is okay to be in your own wilderness. People let you down time and time again, but don’t let the pain bruise your heart. There is power in humbleness and forgiveness. I learnt that trying new things is fun, even if it ends up sucking! I learnt that being positive and trying to look at the sunny side of things is the better path. There is good in everyone even if it’s hard to find; there is love for loveless. It is important to recognize what you have and not take people or things for granted. I learnt that you can’t let people make you feel obligated and guilty. I learnt that you have to do what is right for you sometimes, even if other people demand different. I learnt that guilt is not a healthy feeling. I learnt that if you get to know anyone enough you can find a connection, no matter what age, race, sex, religion, lifestyle, or class. If you listen more than you talk you learn a lot. Everyone has a story and everyone is searching. I learnt that I am organized and responsible in a messy way! I learnt that I enjoy creativity and standing out, they make my heart beat. I am truly blessed. Really 2008 held a lot of lessons for me and I could continue this list for a huge duration of time, but I won’t bore you anymore. Maybe you didn’t even make it this far, but I hope that 2008 held many lessons for you and that 2009 will be full of love, lessons, laughter, tears, surprises, joy, pain, all of it. Love life, love people, because above everything else love is all we need. Cliche or not. It’s truth.

Fear in the Front Seat.

The cuffs are too tight and they leave the wrists bruised and bloody. Fear is a crippler. Just another handicap that restrains tortured souls. It haunts every thought and dream preventing us from any significant amount of progress. We purchase this bottle of poison willingly. We would even fight another for the last bottle on the shelf. Ignorance is hardly bliss yet we ignore the warnings on the label and consume on our own free will. Back down from that shelf. You are not a magnet. Lower your shaking hands. Open your glazed over eyes and stop. Look at what the deterrent says. Toxic, corrosive, irritant, explosive, harmful to the environment. All of those things are running through our veins because we chose to ingest- contently uneducated. Day in and day out we live with our jaws stretched open. Maybe at one time we didn’t devour this fear on our own accord. Only now it isn’t so painful because we have adapted to the sensation and maybe even grown to enjoy it. Now it is simply as if we are being spoon-fed. Fear masks our every suspicion. Paranoia is the restraint that ties us to our own grave. We quickly find ourselves skeptical of anything that sounds just slightly too good to be true. Fear just seems so much easier than trust. It’s our self-destructive way of protecting ourself. Fear has nothing to do with love and everything to do with retribution.

Superheroes Cry Too.

And he said to me: “If it were up to us to save the world.. we’d be screwed.”
My boyfriend is a smart boy. Too mature for his age and a heart that’s too big for his chest. Last night as a l lay in bed, with my duvet suffocating my every breath and tears streaming down my face I was gently soothed by the words of a boy who deserves a better title. Sometimes words are only words, and sometimes they are so much more. If I asked anyone of you I bet that 9 out of 10 would say that sometimes they feel like they can’t do it or that they aren’t good enough. Maybe even all 10 would agree. And here I lay in my bed- just last night, broken and numb. Clingy to the false perception that I am in no way good enough. Reality check sweetie, you will never be perfect- whatever that even means. But guess what? It’s okay.
Last night I stared reality in the face. I can’t save the world. Who doesn’t want to be a superhero? Who doesn’t want to do all they can to save humankind? Who doesn’t want to see this world in a better state then it currently is? Reality tells me that I can’t erase the darkness of this world. At the same time it tells me that I can help.
It isn’t me. Nor was it ever me. I wasn’t created a girl to save the world. But I was created to make a difference. Bring some light. And more simple then all of that.. love. If it were up to any of us, we couldn’t save the universe. We would all end up in ruins. Probably in an even more messed up state then we find ourselves. We weren’t asked to be something we aren’t. And we were not asked to do a job that isn’t ours.
There is a prominent force in this world. A benevolent one that is out there with us, day in and day out. He is the one that will bring this world to peace. That will have this planet on it’s knees. He will restore all of the broken and bring justice to a species in need.
So in the mean time, when life gets rough, when things feel hopeless, always cling to the truth that there is a promise our desperate world will be saved.
Bring your weary, worn out soul, and rest it in the only thing that breathes life back into the lungs of a collapsed spirit.
In one conversation. One prayer. One reminder of love and hope. I learnt many things. Things I may have known. But needed a firm reminder of. My boyfriend is a smart boy. And he said to me: “If it were up to us to save the world.. we’d be screwed.”

The Contour of an Exposed Disaster.

I find myself sitting at your feet once again. It’s that place I find myself when I hang my pride-filled coat at the door. My eyes are wet with tears and my heart heavy with this craving that is never satisfied. My body is bruised, I hope you can recognize me because I surely don’t. How is it that I arrived in this desert? So dry and so in need of a cup of water. Bare-boned and exposed I feel ashamed sitting in front of you. My silhouette is dark and my limbs have been stripped of the clothes that covered up this broken soul. Sometimes it just feels like this disease running through my veins and pounding through my chest.
This is when you tell me that I am free from the ropes that bind me to this floor. This is when you tell me that I never had you fooled. This is when you place your loving hand upon my breaking back and support this twisted spine. Still I am not sure if I feel you there or if maybe I am still numb from the damage I have done. For someone like you to love a creature like me seems surreal. My mind just can’t comprehend your perfection. You desire to make me whole and I can’t get past the fact that I never feel good enough. Maybe I am scared of letting you down or maybe I am scared of not being in control. You know- so maybe you should tell me.
How is it that I can recite the proper words off by heart, like the songs I learned as a child, but I can’t fuse it to this heavy heart? All I know, and maybe all I need to be aware of right now is that you are still my beloved and I am still yours while I sit in this desert.

My New Garden

Sometimes it feels as if this life is one giant competition. Not one that any of us remember signing up for. Not one that we are sure how to be significant contenders in. We are born into it. Messy and naked. Taken from the warm world we once thought was home. We are then slapped on the butt with an unfamiliar hand and told that it’s already begun and we are to jump on in.
Excuse the exaggeration. There is a few years of innocence, a few years of education, a few years of, let’s say “training”. Then our blinders are removed and there it is. The race we all must inevitably join.
What is it that began while we felt warm and secure? Honestly, it started long before the day we were warm and secure. It started with a man and a women. (Doesn’t it always?) They lived in this garden, a perfect one. One that any of us would have been more than comfortable in. With only one rule to follow- “do not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.” With many other delicious fruits amongst them, this doesn’t seem too hard now does it? False, these two people, Adam and Eve, they were human too. Imperfect and broken, just as we are. Curious. Falling into temptation. Falling into the desire to gain more. And to go to any lengths to do so. Sadly, this rule was dismissed and ignored, and now here we are, ages down the road in a far more broken world than probably ever before. I can’t say that I blame the two of them. We were created with the ability to make choices. Good, bad. We choose. Unfortunately we don’t always make the right choice do we? I will be the first to admit that I would have failed too. Adam and Eve. Two names that will be spoken of for as long as the world survives. Pretty epic right?
Back to that whole idea of having a desire to attain something. Eve was tempted by a disgusting creature. She probably thought, “what’s the harm? I am about to gain complete knowledge of what is right and what is wrong.” If she was anything like me, she probably wrestled the thought out between her head and her heart. One saying ‘go’, the other saying ‘stop, please.’ Go is so much more fun than stop. One bite taken and then she shares this not-so-lucky fate with Adam. One decision changed a lifetime. Changed everything that was meant to be. This is our world.
Too often it feels like this life is a tournament. That we have to somehow gain more. That we have to climb higher and higher. All in the effort to become the best, the wisest, the prettiest, the most famous, whichever it may be. What do we do to get there though? Do we step on peoples toes? Do we lie, cheat, steal? We become fake, hardened, selfish. Consumed by our sick and monopolized world. This is such a sad and bitter way to look at all of this. But some day’s I just feel too tired to look at it any differently. My mind becomes blurred with resentment and there is a wish that burns deeper than ever. You know those two words, “If only...”
Why did that unfamiliar, cold hand have to slap my newly exposed butt. Why did I grow out of innocence and become exposed to this whole “competition.” Well, number one, it isn’t a competition. I think it is time that many of us accepted that reality. Number two, we all our equal competitors and we do not by any means have to be rotted with self-serving cravings. Take a step above your false impulses and next time you consider pushing someone off of the cliff, grab their hand instead. Next time you find your words oozing with false intentions, stop, restart and be incorruptible. I promise I will try these things as well. This race is not real. It was created by a world in which none of us win. Things will continue to be messy, but that’s alright, let’s just try extracting ourselves from the mess. I am tired. I am withdrawing myself from this fraudulent contest. Please join.

The Leaf That Mocked Me.

So I’m driving home tonight and there is a yellow leaf sitting in my windshield wipers. It looks as if it was strategically placed in order to prolong it’s ending life. Safe and secure, proud of itself for the grip it has taken. My hand moves quicker than my brain, and please don’t think I am morbid, but I am reaching for my windshield wipers before I even realize I am about to crush it’s yellow hopes and dreams of holding on just a little longer. As I take my first vicious strike I find myself thinking “let’s get rid of this leaf!... why is it even there?... was I even parked under a tree?... I can’t remember.” First strike and no movement from the leaf. Failure gets the best of me and I take my second strike with more force. Yellow and proud, it is as if it is laughing at my frustration with failure. Does this leaf know me? He sticks around to laugh in my face. Then, before another thought consumes my mind or before I take a third strike he dances off and I feel a bit jealous of how much control he has of his life.
Now I find myself coming to a stop as there is a Mom and son crossing the street hand-in-hand. I look at them and make eye-contact with the mom first. She waves thankfully at me for stopping and attempting to keep their lives safe. Then my gaze shifts and I meet the eyes of the adorable little boy who is mimicking his mom, arm stretched out toward me. I can’t help but wave at him and he moves a little slower, almost pausing in the street to smile as big as he knows possible and wave back.
As I drive on I can feel a tightness in my cheeks, looking in the rearview mirror I see a large, dorky smile has spread from ear to ear. In this moment, genuine happiness, joy. Not that I am normally unhappy or bitter, but it was so unexpected. Smiling as the journey continues. Joyful, content, balanced. My mind is pulled back to that yellow leaf, like he is tapping on my shoulder whispering, “I had a lesson for you my dear.”
If we don’t take the time to look at something, we may never even notice that it’s there. Focus on the beauty in something as simple as a leaf. Appreciation is key. Appreciate the people crossing the street. Appreciate the fallen leaves. Appreciate movement. This means that we should recognize the full worth of everything. Indulge in a deep breath and appreciate it. Breath keeps us alive.

Balloon.

Today my best friend and I did something that has been in the works, well possibly since day one. We may not have seen it coming from the start, but like an unexpected rainfall, it was inevitable. Something we all have to understand in life is that, people disappoint you. No matter how much we believe that someone can fulfill all the desires of our heart, we learn the hard way this is merely fiction.
So what about second chances. Let’s try third, fourth, fifth, tenth. You may say “foolish girls, it is their own fault for getting hurt time and time again.” But you would be foolish for thinking so. We knew time after time it was going to end with an aching heart, but there was no way we could go on without trying. I think maybe our Mothers told us the story of ‘the little engine that could’ one to many times. On behalf of both of us, we learnt heaps from every moment. All of our memories, we still hold those close, but they come with lessons. Ones that I pray some day you will learn too. Maybe not in such a tender way, but I sincerely hope you do.
Today we stepped onto a field. Two girls. Balloons in hand. One orange. One pink. No fear. No looking back. And we let them go. We watched them float until we could no longer see them. In such a simple action we let go of years of turmoil. Everything that was negative, everything holding us back, everything clogging the valves of our heart. It was all gone with one swift release of our hand. Satisfaction guaranteed.
I understand that this is all a bit confusing, and that really only two of us understand what this is all about. But it isn’t about what happened. It isn’t about the past. It isn’t saying that we are any better than the one who hurt us. It is about a new beginning. It’s about putting the hurts of our past behind us. Locking them in some fictitious box, attaching a heavy weight and throwing it in the ocean. Never to be brought up again. I guess in our case, it was attaching all our hurts to a balloon and letting go. Not letting go of the person, because we will still be there. Right where we were left. But from this day forward, we are no longer living in the pain of the past. We are moving forward and entering a new chapter free of all the ropes that tied us down. Two brave new girls.

Wearing my Dress Underwater

I drag my toe across the top of the deep blue water. The cold sends chills through my body. Nothing really feels as cold as my heart though. The water is tempting me. It’s calling out my name. “Jump in silly girl with a foolish heart”, it cries. How does it know me? Panic pulls my toe back from the broken surface of the blue abyss. So I stand there. Face to face with the unknown. Will apprehension get the best of me? It always does. Questions pour into my brain. This seemingly magnetic force draws me to the ground. Pulling my body into the fetal position. I close my eyes and let my mind take me away. The stone cold ground numbing my face. Toes curled tight and every limb as close to my body as possible.
Audacity creeps into my veins and I rise. The blood is pumping fast to my heart and it beats through my chest. It may rupture if I don’t act quick. Without thinking twice I find myself mid-air. And before long my whole body is submerged in the bone-numbing liquid. My toes graze the bottom and I rise to the surface. Treading as my body shivers in the cold, I look around and that solid ground I once stood on has disappeared. Am I going to sink or swim? Sinking would be the easy way out. This coward of a girl holds her breath and once again emerges her soul into the deepness of the sea. I am met by something under the water and it grabs my hand. Together we swim into the dark. The touch of our fingers is enough to keep us alive and warm. Uncertainty will not take away this opportunity. Swimming is all we can do. It’s all we will do. Hands clasped.

Untangle

I wear this mask. I wear it well. Every morning I put it on. I put it on like I put mascara on my eyelashes. It is just another commodity to hide behind. My identity remains hidden to all around me. They think they know me, know who I am. They know nothing. Not one thing. They know my mask. They know it well. They know the fabrication my life has become. My heart is a mess. A painted canvas covered in colors I can’t remember applying. It feels like a state of madness. A state I want to escape but somehow, it is inconveniently unavoidable. My life is a routine. The world has made me into just another consumer of her mundane corporate society. Convincing me to buy into all of her lies. I’m not good enough if I’m not perfect. What is perfect? Apparently it’s this mask I wear. Which only sends me full force back to where I began. Spinning faster then ever, I can hardly catch my breath. My heart is crying out, “slow down girl.” That whisper is over-powered by thousands screaming criticism into my ears. If I don’t meet the standards they set for me. I will only fail. Failure is not an option. Walking down the plastic streets, hearts are crying out for substance. For something to take hold of. Anything. I seize items that are temporary. Material that will pass by like a moment fleeting in time. I don’t know who is truly happy, and who, like me, is wearing their mask. Sadness, emptiness, brokenness is twisted in the colors of our eyes. A painted on smile seems enough to distract from any depth of my reality being uncovered. If I present happy, I am happy. Look into my eyes, not for too long. What did you see? Certainly not any authentic part of this mere mortal. I feel the porcelain of this mask is starting to crack. The mask is deteriorating, kind of like my heart. People are going to notice, so I apply another layer of make-up to this beauty queen lifestyle. It isn’t enough to mend the fractures. So I wander home. To what feels like a shelter of protection and I stand yet again in the mirror, staring at the mask. It has taken over and my hands try to pry it off. Fingers bleeding at the force it takes to pull it off. Finally it falls to the floor and shatters into hundreds of tiny pieces. A tear falls down my cheek and I look at the reflection of a female who has no idea who she is anymore. I’m so tired of forcing a smile even I don’t recognize. Slowly I become untangled. It must be night time. I must be alone. Something tells me I’m not. I feel a presence. It has a secret to tell me. Part of me wants to retreat under the covers of my all too familiar bed. Normally I would. But tonight is different. So I wait, sitting in a war of fear and hope. And the voice speaks. It says to me, “Child. There is no mask you can hide behind. Your mask is just a deception to yourself, and to others. I see what is under your mask and I adore it. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. I always have been. That junk you are choking on. Give it to me. Breathe deep. I am your breath. I am your heart beat. I love you and not your mask. I always will.” The voice turns into a hand holding me up. And for once, I feel safe.

Pause. Rewind. Play.

Sitting at Darling Harbor this weekend. Right on the edge. Occasionally dipping my feet into the warm water. Sipping my Starbucks Latte. Sharing stories about our pasts. One of those moments I don’t ever want to let slip away. This was one of those times in life when it almost felt as if time was standing still. The moments we wish would last a lifetime. When for just a short while everything feels perfect. Everything was calm. Minus the five minutes Stacia and Sean decided to jump into the harbor! I wish that my description could take you to that moment, maybe you will get a sense for it, but it won’t ever be vivid enough.
Australia has continued to be really great. Yesterday Tyler asked, “If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?” I hardly had to think. “Right here.” It’s not to say that I don’t miss home, but I know that here is where I am meant to be at this time. People are often so focused on what is next, and I know that I am often guilty of this. Sometimes we forget to just soak in our moment in time because we want to keep moving. We know that there is more in store and I think we get greedy in wanting to discover this, instead of just letting it unfold. We are living an unfinished story. You know when you get a book, flip to the very last page and read the last sentence just because you cannot wait to see what happens. (I’ve been guilty of this also). How empty feeling does that leave you though. The whole book has just lost a huge portion of its excitement. In life we can’t just flip to the last page, we aren’t given all of that information. We just have to keep going. We live in a busy world that tells us to go, go, go. We find ourselves trying to plan on where to get next and we move so fast that we miss out on so much along the way. We get frustrated with obstacles that come in our path and hinder our direct movement from one task to the other. The world doesn’t usually tell us to smell the roses!
While walking home from Darling Harbor we ended up getting lost, we ended up right back at Darling Harbor. For many this would be ridiculously frustrating. This gave us a good laugh though. But after about an hour and a half, some slurpees, some ice cream, and Tyler saving my life by helping me not get hit by cars, we ended up back at our hostel. Putting my head on the pillow I just felt reminded to breathe in, slow down, take advantage of my moments, make them memorable, enjoy where I am at the very moment, and breathe out.

Let That Be Enough

Quiet day is a day in which we are supposed to spend a day in silence with God. This means no talking with others around us. This in itself was a challenge for me, and most of the people here. I had really big expectations for this day though. I felt that God was supposed to give me some profound direction or an idea of what the heck I am doing with my life. I spent the whole morning laying in the grass, sun beaming down, frustrated out of my mind. I so badly wanted to hear God and what He had to say to me. I had been praying for some sort of an epiphany, but all I heard was silence. So I fell in and out of sleep, went to lunch, sat in silence, went back to my spot outside. Still nothing. So I decided that I would go lay in the conference hall while the music played. Thinking soaking in the words and trying to focus on them would help me hear God. All that happened was me falling asleep and snoring. I woke up even more frustrated. Showering seemed like the only thing to do at this point. I turned on my computer and music just before I hit the shower just to help me wind down. "Let me know you love me. Let that be enough." Those were the only words I heard. And that is when God spoke. He simply wanted me to know that He loves me, that He is holding me in His everlasting arms and that was enough. He wanted me to know that I didn't need to have some big realization, all He needed was for me to be reminded of His love for each one of us. He wants that to be enough. So even though I didn't discover what I was hoping for, God spoke what He needed. That was enough for me.

Lady In A Bookstore.

“You’ll never know all the tragedies within ones heart...” A lady in a book store said this to me a year and a half ago. She would come in when I was working and would ramble on about things that made no sense. This was the one thing she said to me though, that I will never be able to forget.
She was so right. We walk around thinking mostly about ourselves and our lives. Not to say that we are bad people or that we never think of others because I have seen and experienced this love, but it is human nature to get caught up in our own selves. Walking down the street we pass person after person, face after face and how often do we take a moment to put ourselves into their shoes. Or recognize that they have stuff going on in their own life. Not often enough. We have no idea what these people are all about, what their life experiences are, what may be troubling their soul, or to take a more positive stand, what is giving them pure joy. I often find myself thinking ‘what is it that made that person that way?’ or ‘what is that persons story? where have they been? where are they going?’ I know that I have a story, therefore leaving everyone else with theirs.
We often look to our past, to what has so far defined us. Our lives are lived more evidently by what has been instead of what is. I think we hinder ourselves when we are always looking back. Not to say that it is wrong to focus on our pasts because they have created our story, they have shaped us. We are the person we are today for many many reasons. I believe we have to make a choice to keep pressing on to a new tomorrow, to learn from the past, grow in it, grow with it, grow from it. Our futures are unknown, for me that is complete hope. Only by taking a step into this unknown can I continue in my prewritten story. Prewritten. Hope has become a comfort,even in a darkened world. I think amongst such a broken world hope is our light. As brothers and sisters we should recognize that we are all composed of different stories, that the tragedies in our hearts may be similar to others, or completely different. To meet people where they are at. Lets recognize that we are not the only ones with pain or joy in our hearts, lets take a step into tomorrow. Not leaving our past behind because we cannot ignore what has been, but opening our eyes to what will be.
This lady in a book store once said something to me, one thing out of hundreds stuck with me, and it changed my story forever.

In The Land Down Under

After months of planning the craziest adventure of my life I am finally settled in the great land of Australia. I arrived in Sydney on January 24th at 10 in the morning. It was a 15 hour flight from Vancouver to Sydney. Just a little fun fact for you- I didn’t get up once, not to stretch and not to pee. Ew is right. I was by the window and there was a boy beside me I couldn’t seem to get around. Anyways, too much information. I stayed in a great hotel right by the circular quay which is where there are shops, restaurants, tours and of course all the water. It was absolutely beautiful. I spent a whole day just hanging around there. The next day I went shopping and met some really sweet people. I could not believe how friendly people were. It was really reassuring for me. January 26th was the day. The day I had to leave for school. Trying to get around the train station was a mess and I really wondered what I had gotten myself into. Once I was settled on the train things started to feel a bit better. There was a transfer of trains and getting on the second train it became very evident that I wasn’t the only student on their way to a new place. I can pretty much guarantee that I looked like a deer in headlights. After I sat down with my two massive bags of luggage, a backpack and my lulu bag (which my roommate later made fun of me for!) a girl sat across from me. I felt like I wanted to say something to her, but she beat me to it. “Hey, Where are you going?” she said and I shyly responded “Moss Vale”. “To the Bible College!?” she asked me excitedly, and that is where it began. Turns out that this very girl turned out to be my roommate! Definitely a God thing. So my roommates name is Kim. She is seriously amazing. She is beautiful inside and out and she does the coolest things. I don’t think that I could have asked for a better roommate. We get along so well.
I’ve been here now for just over three weeks and I have to say I know that I am meant to be here. The lectures have been awesome. I feel like the teachers have bugged our rooms or something to know exactly what to say to us. The things some of the girls and I have talked about are some of the things that they have been talking about. I know that it is the Holy Spirit, but wow, that has been really cool. Everything that we have been learning has been so relevant to my life. I can already feel a change occurring, at least my brain is ticking and my heart beating. God has also blessed me with a friend that can really relate to some of the things that have happened over the past year and I know that is something that is very needed.
Alright, let me enlighten you on what I’ve gotten myself into. Oh, I tried kangaroo. It was actually pretty good, but the thought of eating a kangaroo felt slightly disturbing! I have hit up the beach twice, neither day was too nice but I got a chance to do some boogie boarding which is always a good time! March 1st we get to have a surf day and get actual lessons on how to surf- so stoked! I’ve also been bowling twice. The first time I went with my family group and we dressed 80’s (you can imagine the looks we got). The second time it was three of my friends birthdays! Crazy. I got a really nice sunburn on our first workday which occurs every Wednesday, but now my back is really dark. I’ve been taking a lot of time to get to know people and what they are about. That is something that seems extremely important about being here. Everyone has a story and a past and is now here for a reason and I want to know all of that. God has been teaching me a lot of patience. He has also given me a lot of strength. I have had that feeling where you feel like you have nothing left to give, but then someone needs you. I really didn’t think I could do this, but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. For now I will leave with that thought...