From Lessons Learned.

I am a human. Just a creature with a heart as a compass and two feet as my transport. It is inevitable that I will make mistakes while being led by a young and naive heart. But it is guaranteed that I’ll receive forgiveness. The hardest part though, is learning to forgive myself. Because it is kind of like that itch that never goes away. Irritating your skin till its dry and sore. I question constantly where this forgiveness comes from. The answer is still uncertain. I regret little in my life, but the few things that linger in my soul I hold close to my heart. I let them control my compass. They are a reminder of who I once was and the choices I once made. They are lessons learned.
Guilt is a poison. It knows this way of slowly seeping into your breath. It enters your brain. Your heart. Unveiling itself in an art that only guilt knows. It wraps around your feet and travels upward leaving your body in a cast. Stiff and awkward. And sometimes when you try to break the cast, it feels as if it just added 10 more layers all while mocking your brave attempts.
The compass I carry is sometimes incredibly heavy, and sometimes it feels as if it has feet. Sometimes it feels like my greatest accomplishment and other times it feels like my darkest secret. It’s a combination of success and failure. It has knee deep scratches and smudges that rub off easy. There are times when I know I am not the one bearing it. It is sustained by something much larger than itself. Much larger than myself. But as I ramble on with my feet and compass, one thing is certain, that forgiveness eliminates guilt and forgiveness offers freedom. There will always be what once was, there will always be what is to come, and there will always be choice. I can only pray that I choose what is just.